Pet Theories

Everyone is entitled to hold a certain number of pet theories. So we go along with my brother-in-law whenever he pronounces on the best way to remind someone of something. According to Jonathan, instead of saying “Don’t forget your keys,” you must say “Remember your keys.” Because, according to Jonathan, the brain registers the former as: ‘Don’t forget your keys..’ Thus creating a nueral slippery slope connecting the words “keys” and “forget.” Jonathan can’t recall if he first heard this theory somewhere or if he made it up himself. In either case, he’s convinced it’s profoundly true and is on a mission to spread the word.

I understand, because I set a lot of store by my own pet theory, which is about parking. I know how to find a good parking space when they aren’t any. The secret is to drive to exactly where you want to be and only then to start looking for a place to park. Your passengers will urge you to take the first space you come upon— claiming that “we aren’t going to do any better.” Ignore this. You need to demonstrate to the parking gods that you expect to be lucky. In parking, as in life, you should start by going after exactly what you want. Because you never know . . . .